It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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