You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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