remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize
