How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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