dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
