At least make sure they are 18
Why
im drinking this country out of the recession.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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