talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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