How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
