its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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