if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
