Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
