I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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