We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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