We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
