we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
