stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I understand Curling. That high.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
