ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
