New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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