I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
