I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
