Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
A bitchslap is in order.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
