Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
