i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I love you. Go after that dick
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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