You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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