Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
