Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Randomize
