I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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