Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
