they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
