Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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