is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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