i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
