i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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