I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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