Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
