Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
