he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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