Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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