I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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