I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
