just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
