Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
