Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I supernannyed him into submission
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
