Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
