i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
