respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
