i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I lost the right to judge tonight
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
