You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
