one two three fourrrrnication!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize