oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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